Two concepts that Asians have been struggling with for centuries. Even if we have it all, how do we make sure we don’t lose it? Why is it hard for us to balance our career and private life? When is the right time to go after the things we really want? Is there a better way to live life?
Do any of these expectations and pressures sound familiar?
- You must be the best – anything less is unacceptable
- You must have a well-paid and recognised career
- You must get married and have children
- 忍 – You mustn’t show emotion or cry – endure everything and say nothing
- We know what’s best – there is no place for disobedience
As an Asian, being self-disciplined can be tough. Our culture is based on group harmony and external priorities. Unwilling to disrupt the collective, we are taught to minimise our role in any conflict and put everyone’s best interests above our own.
If you are Asian and want more freedom and resilience, then my 6-Steps to Self-Mastery is a proven methodology for you to achieve the success. It’s not enough to have financial independence; true freedom comes from within, which can only be achieved through embracing your identity, past and learning how to deal with non-productive thoughts in the present moment.
A sense of confusion? Uncertainty about your future and path to success? Feeling like there are multiple paths to every goal, that means you could be taking any one of them, or none of them.
You’ve probably heard of that a-ha moment when someone makes a lightbulb go off in their head? Well, what if you could experience that every day in the sense of having clarity about your purpose? You can. We are living poorly when we don’t know why we are living.
As someone who has experienced these events first-hand, you do not want to wait for a disaster to happen before you take action. The confusion and pain will only grow exponentially worse.
Discover your passion and live it out with someone who has been there too.
Low self-esteem holds you back from having the life you want. Too often, people allow themselves to be shaped by their environment. Asian culture can stifle your development with intense academic pressure, an emphasis on hard work and a fear of failure.
Start building your confidence by looking at the truth behind why you believe you can’t do something, or say ‘no’. By deep diving into your current belief system and getting another person’s perspective, we can identify and eliminate your limiting beliefs so that you can achieve amazing results, and start living your life.
We live in a very competitive world. We’re constantly reminded that we need to be working harder, getting more done, and looking better. This creates an environment of fear, stress, judgment, pressure, and loneliness.
Can you relate to any of the following statements?
- I’m always getting stressed out about getting things done.
- I wish my relationships were more authentic.
- I want to find my passion in life but keep on distracting myself with trivial things instead.
- I often feel like no one understands me or accepts me for who I am.
- There’s a decent person inside me who wants to break free from everything that feels wrong about me but I just can’t show him/her yet.
You can start practising self-love by putting yourself first, now. It’s like sitting on top of a pyramid. It only has space for one, and it’s strictly reserved because nobody except you should be sat there.
4. Emotional Resilience
We live in a world where our emotions and self-image becomes one of the biggest influencing factors in our lives, with “how people see us” or “how we feel about ourselves” being very important. I’ve witnessed fellow Asians feeling emotionless, broken, stuck on a hamster wheel of the 9-to-5 with no end in sight.
We can choose how to respond to whatever happens to us, but what if we do not? Stress can arise from a lot of reasons. Some can be external (e.g. workload, family expectations), while others can come from within (e.g. sense of inadequacy).
You shouldn’t have to wait for a mental breakdown before taking action. Mastering your mind is like learning any other skill. It takes practice, perseverance, and guidance.
Learn to set up systems to protect as well as nurture your emotional well-being whilst dealing with all manner of people in your life. Just like the successful people that I’ve had the pleasure to work with, they are able to set boundaries, let others in emotionally whilst being at peace and less angry. Ultimately, they gain emotional freedom so that they can stay in control of their lives.
As Asians, we are one of the hardest working diasporas in the world. We’re also very good at hiding our emotions and pretending like problems don’t exist. If you want a promotion… you need to improve your performance and results. But how do you achieve that assertive mind-set with all those existing stressors of Asian culture? And have enough time for yourself and your family?
The most successful and happiest people in world have one thing in common. That is consistent and positive habits.
You can start your road to success by projecting what your success looks like, however impossible it may seem. Unless you’re a 55-yearold looking to become an astronaut (but you only just thought about doing that right?). And ask yourself this, if you were to die tomorrow, what would you regret not having accomplished or lived?
Make those your goals now and develop the positive habits needed to lead a successful life and you can look back and say “I’m damned proud of myself!”
There are many articles online about how to find your authentic self. But these are mostly written by non-Asians for non-Asians, and as a result they are ineffective and don’t quite hit the mark.
You need to know what to do with your life. Like really know. But most advice tells you what you should do, and who you should be, not who you are. And we feel like that’s useless. The feeling of being a fraud. The experience of not ‘being yourself’ or feeling incapable of being authentic when there’s an opportunity to be genuine.
You feel pressured by society to act in a way you don’t like or agree with, you want to get to the bottom of what type of person you really are, or simply can’t understand why it is so hard for you to be your true self.
Do you want to being living more authentically? Do you want to begin to understand your personal values, beliefs, attitude? Do you want to know your highest ambitions and are determined to pursue them? The first step is to begin laying down the foundations of the first five Pillars of Self-Mastery. With some added guidance, authenticity will come naturally.
Become more successful at work and in your personal life. Take the first step today toward mastering all of these areas of your life by contacting me for a free consultation on how we can make an amazing change to your life.